Riding the Ring with Kermit.

The Nurburgring snakes its way through 20.832 kilometres of the Eifel forest, winding through 72 corners and rising through 292 meters (about 1000 feet) through green pines around the Nurburg castle ruins. This is real road-racing, second to none where you can push yourself and machine to the limit big danglies required every lap.

The more laps you do the easier the brain burns the 20k in your mind. Of my many laps of the Ring I'm going to run my mental film, trying to create a picture of the track as I go. So get ready for your shot of adrenalin, be slightly scared it's always a good thing, because here come your instructions, to be read and followed in under nine minutes (Helmut Daehne's record is 7 mins 48 secs, I need 2 min more).

So you've gone through the barrier pulled in put your gloves back on done your final checks, made sure your ticket is safe, everybody is ready Let's GO!!

Ride through the cones your free, get the bike in the power band through the gears little power wheelie cos you can, as soon as you go under the first bridge click the lap timer. Drift over to the left of the track to Hohenrain a right-hander then a left and right this is the old start finish line drifting over to the right of the track getting ready for the lefthander using a large radius and all of the road . After the lefthander drift diagonally over to the left, reaching the kerb at the white cross marker, then peel off right for the '66er' right-hander, keeping a constant radius. Now 200 yards straight ahead, ironing the slight lefthander into a straight line, which lines you up nicely for the Hatzenbach 'S'. Clamp on the anchors about 25 yards short of the Halt sign, flick left then immediately right, not clipping the kerb at the apex of the right-hander. Open the taps, accelerate hard, but don't drift out too much to the left; the middle of the road is about the right place to be when abreast of the red-and-white tires at the side of the road marking the slip road used by the safety vehicles and ambulances to enter the circuit. This is the key position and the slowest stretch through the Hatzenbach curves. Now flick left then right, changing rapidly from one side of the bike to the other. Keep as far right now as possible, since this makes your line nearly straight. Peel left just before the apex of the last of the Hatzenbach left curves, blasting the taps open while drifting wide to the right kerb, all the while aiming for the Hoheneichen village signpost. Peel off right at the signpost then pick her up smartly before diving into the sweeping downhill lefthander. Line her up on the left side of the road and aim for the red 2 kilometre milestone on the left. That's Hocheichen, at this point stop yourself from thinking you are god himself there is a long way to go and things start to speed up rapidly.

Now the Quiddelbacher Heights .Over the bridge look left that's where I want my Hotel. Charge blindly up the hill now to the Quiddelbacher Heights, the one in six climb hides the road ahead from your view. The bike leaps over the brow of the hill, the bike shaking its steering head in disapproval.

Hold her close to the left kerb until the bordering kerbstones end near the 'E' painted on the tarmac, then peel off right, blending the two following right curves past the airfield into a single smooth motion. Now pick her up and dive down into the left hand drop diagonally by leaning slightly left. Very fast now on the approach to Schwedenkreuz (Swedish-cross), on the left hand side as you come over the brow. Aim for the big white boarding on the right, even though you temporarily lose sight of it when diving through the dip. Lean left after the board is passed, braking hard for the Aremberg corner, and peel off very late at the drain cover on the left for the tight 180 right-hander of Aremberg. Wind the taps fully open now, aiming for the left-hand bridge post. Keep left under the bridge then aim diagonally right for the little wooden hut at the side of the road, piling on the coals.

You feel the rhythm of the circuit pulsing through your veins as you aim for the entry into the Fuchsroehre. The Fuchsroehre (foxes' pipes) is one of the fastest parts of the Ring. When you are abeam the little wooden hut on the right, aim for the left side of the brow of the hill. Then courageously keep the bike upright in a straight line whilst diving down to the deepest point of the Fuchsroehre. Ignore the left side of the road as it jumps out at you, and keep straight down the hill, until abeam the last kerbstone before the very bottom of the hill.

As the slope changes from the one in nine downhill to the one in ten uphill, you feel the G-forces pressing you down on the bike, and feel the bump as the suspension bottoms under those G-forces. It's a strange sensation which just makes me get giddy so remember to brace your arms gently, as you pass the four and a half kilometre mark. Then let the bike drift over to the right past the 5 kilometre milestone, lining up for the first lefthander heading into the Adenauer Forest.

Peel off left at the end of the right side-marking stripe. The first lefthander is easy. Clap on the anchors at the exit as hard as possible, front tyre howling and rear wheel on the point of lifting off the tarmac, until reaching the yellow coloured square painted on the road. Leaning right now, pour on the coals but keeping the front wheel on the road through the right-hander. Despite all instincts to the contrary, keep on the right past the twin safety railings until you can see all the way through the following "S" of the Adenauer forest. Make sure to check nothing is on the inside it hurts very dangerous for bikes I should know I have been off twice at this point there is no margin for error if you feel you cannot make it straight over the kerb it's one of the few places there's a grass run off, stay off the brakes, compose yourself back on to it. Curve fluidly left then right through the 'S', accelerating hard while drifting out of the forest on the left side of the track.

Now change over to the right as you dive down into Metzgesfeld , and keep right as long as possible This allows you to take the following two lefthanders as a single radius curve, effectively ignoring the short 50 yard straight between them You will need to brake slightly for the second of these lefthanders, so you may want to pick her up on the short straight to brake, but it is probably better to stay fluid and take them both in one line, braking while leaned over on the straight. Now downhill into a tight right-hander 180, aiming for the white and yellow circle painted on the tarmac, it's the peel-off point for the Kallenhardt right-hander. Kallenhardt corner has a dangerous adverse camber, so be sure to get as close to the right apex as possible before letting the bike drift out as you accelerate out while still leaning right.

Take the next two slight lefthanders in single radius for more speed. The dive down into the Wehrseifen you take by relying on memory alone, because you cannot see through the snaking corners at all. The main thing is to keep a constant smooth radius while diving down again into the first right-hander and aiming for the white and yellow coloured paint spot on the tarmac at the apex. Drifting out left, aim for the second colour spot. From there you can see the entry into the corkscrew left-right combination at Wehrseifen. Pick the bike up and brake hard, aiming for the '114' signpost on the right-hand side of the road. Be sure to command the track there is no room for error cars will try to push through make them wait keep to the middle of the track. There flick hard left, scraping the left knee on the tarmac, and then flicked right again, drifting over to the left as you accelerate hard out of the right-hander. Staying left until the road surface changes, you move diagonally across to the right aiming for the big white hoarding marking the entry to Breitscheid . There are plenty of spectators for a reason there is no Armco just a red and white, now blue and white concrete wall on the right with plenty of scars it is also known as Adenau you can enter and exit the track at this point so there are plenty of hazards to remain focused and being aware is paramount

Breitscheid is the lowest point on the course; it's all uphill thereafter, apart from the odd dip. Peel off right up the hill, breasting the rise just after the well-cambered right-hander of Ex-Muhle.

Grab a full hand of throttle now, accelerating hard up towards the mine at Bergwerk. About 100 yards before the corner lean slightly left and ease her through the slight lefthander keeping the power on. Stay close to the left kerb until reaching the triple safety railings, because not until the last possible moment can you see through the subsequent right-hander, the steep bank on the right blocks your view. Wheel over right, and then drift out to the left as you climb up the slope before moving over to the middle of the road again for the full-power hill up toward the first part of the Kesselchen .

The Kesselchen starts with a steep uphill lefthander. After all the racetrack climbs over 600 feet in the three kilometres from Breitscheid to the Karussell (Carousel). In the lefthander just after the mine entrance the bike leaps over the first brow of the Kesselchen hill. By using all of the road, turn the next shallow left and right-handers almost into a straight line. Staying close to the kerb on the left past the '132' post, still keeping straight on uphill again, aim for the cobblestones on the right of the road. Peeling as late as possible off into the blind lefthander off the second part of the Kesselchen, get near its kerb then as far over to the left as possible on the rumble strip for cars to take the brow of the next hill on the left before leaning the bike slightly right for the fast right-hander known as Klostertal (Monastery valley), leading down through the dip. There aim for the left side of the next brow which leads into the hidden sharp right-hander Steilstrecke which my good friend Hutchie has great pleasure in trying to pass knee down even has cheek to wipe my visor this corner catches many out so be careful. Drop all the way down into second gear and take the curve smoothly with a constant radius which lets you pick the bike up in the middle of the road and accelerate briskly up the hill to the Karussel in a straight line.

There is a nice little bump on the exit of Steilstrecke which brings the front wheel up nicely for the photographers!

Since you can't see the entrance to the Karussel at all, the best thing to do is to aim for little white '143' sign straight ahead on the right hand side of the track. The Carousel is a steeply banked concrete left-handed hairpin for which one needs to brake sharply, and drop down into second again. The changing surface, from tarmac to concrete, gets slippery in the wet; there are leaves there too, so watch out!

Because you are looking far ahead around the turn, and are banked over abnormally steeply, the G-forces compress the suspension so it bottoms out. It is very easy to become disoriented here. You should pick the bike up to an upright position about five yards before leaving the concrete oval checking nobody is above point at the top right corner of the last concrete pad as you accelerate hard, leaning right again for the shallow right-hander just after the Karussel, and following the right hand kerb uphill towards the Hoher Acht (High Eight). This is the highest point of the circuit. It comprises three curves of varying radii.

Take the first left-right combination tangentially before braking hard and then lay the bike down as far as possible for the slow right-hander. Then drift over to the left kerb for the snaking passage through Wipperman , past the '154' signpost and (keeping as straight as possible) let the track snake around you past the slip road for the rescue vehicles, aiming for the telegraph pole before peeling off left to line up for the right-hander. Pick the bike upright now and crank it over to the right halfway down, before diving down into the dip. The bike leaps boldly over the brow of the hill and heads steeply downhill while you change over to the right-hand side of the track by aiming for the Eschenbach village entrance sign.

Now follows an adverse camber lefthander where the kerb juts far out into the track; afterwards flick the bike right sharply before crossing diagonally to line up for the right-hander at Brunnchen. After this you can slam the grip all the way open, accelerating uphill along the short straight until reaching the gravel pit and cobblestones on the left, then brake sharply to the end of them and peel off right for the Eiskurve where you might find Tony has left a few R1 momentos in the kitty litter which will remind him of his over enthusiastic lap.

Don't peel off too early though, or you'll screw up the entry into the Pflanzengarten which follows. The trick is to peel off late for the lefthander, then drift out to the right, accelerating up the hill until the '169' signpost whilst aiming for the left hand side of the road across the brow of the hill. Now you can take the following right-left-left combination in a smooth curve. Accelerate sharply out of the second lefthander, peeling off left again at the '174' sign. Pick her up sharply now, to avoid being cranked over on the jump. Wheelie over the jump and charge down the steep downhill slope keeping as straight as possible letting the road snake around you. Peel off right as you come down out of the Pflanzengarten and then move over to the left on the following short straight. You will want to be hard on the left side at the point where the road surface changes. Brake here and change down then wheel gracefully right, aiming for the 'No Parking' sign on the right of the road. Once there, brake hard again and flick left through the blind lefthander, opening the throttle again quickly after taking the bump on the approach to the Schwalbenschwanz (Swallowtail).

If you screw up the Schwalbenschwanz, you ruin your lap times; it's a very difficult part of the Nurburgring. Stay right on the downhill approach, peeling left onto the concrete ovals on the inside of the lefthander. Accelerate, leaving the concrete pads but be weary it has a nasty habit of throwing you out on your arse yes I have kissed the tarmac with a zx12 the grass verge was a good coolant, keep left if you go into the ovals as long as you can, if you choose to stay up top be careful of vehicles being spewed out into your path but you can easily get back on the line for the right hander of the Galgenkopf (Gallows Head). Aim to stay to the left as long as you can the finish line is not far away although you cannot see it until you reach the last part of the bend it's a bit like a 50p piece, the lap ends at the Gantry don't forget the lap timer, for the ring virgins it's usual to give it a large fistful

Just to see how fast the beast will actually go, or out of sheer relief that you made it although it seemed an age since the lap started.

If it's opened your mind and gripped your soul you have just completed one of your many laps of heaven, if it frightened you as it does to many you will never forget your lap of as the Germans put it Grune Holle ( Green Hell )

Chris Berry (Kermit)

motorcyclemover.co.uk

07795005918